Dark Trinity: Prologue:
Confession
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
Har. Like I need to seek forgiveness from any self-righteous, hypocrital... no. This is not a religious diatribe. Besides, if I was telling this to a priest, he'd likely have a heart attack. I am telling this story to anyone who'll listen, because it's powerfully emotional, and hey, it stars yours truly. Oh, and it's true. So let me start again.
Hi. My name is Kevin, and I'm about to take you on a dark and possible dangerous journey. You won't encounter any terrifying monsters or visit any exotic locales. Indeed, the characters are just ordinary people, and the scariest place you'll go is my mind. Which may, I must admit, be a bit frightening. I should know. I practically live there.
I won't tell you anything specific about the tale you're about to hear. I'm telling this after the fact, so obviously I survive whatever fate you're to witness befalling me. That particular little fact still surprises me at times though.
I will give you a bit of background story, the antecedent action as it were. I'm gay. If that bothers you, you might want to stop listening right now, since the following story would never have happened if I were straight. This whole gay thing wasn't that big of a deal. I mean, my closest friends knew, even my family knew. Of course, Mom still didn't believe it. She was still thinking that I just needed to find the right girl.
This is the story of that girl, and why he wasn't so right after all. Actually, there are many reasons that Ryan (that's his name) wasn't my Mr. Right, the biggest being that he's straight. The other reasons, I think, will become clear in time.
I was in grade twelve when the story opens. That year of hard work and planning preceding a future which must, of necessity, be unlike all that which has gone before. In the fall of 1994 (my grade twelve year), I was 17. Still a kid in some ways. But I think that having to deal with being gay made me mature faster than normal in some respects. Of course, I could make the reverse argument too.
The first person I told was my best friend, Jenn. God, it seems like we've known each other forever, but I suppose it's only been since grade nine. I told her I'm gay in the fall of '93. She wasn't much surprised. After that, it got easier to tell people, culminating with me telling my parents in September of '94, just two months before my story really opens.
First, allow me to take you back in time to May of '94, to my 17th birthday party. At the time of my party, I had a huge crush on Ryan. He didn't know I was gay. But then we started playing Truth-or-Dare. I was giddy and on a sugar high, and more than slightly convinced that Ryan was a homo himself. So I said that if he asked me who I liked, I'd tell him. No one was really paying attention anymore except Ryan and Jenn, so it wasn't a huge deal. He asked me and I told him. Just like that. He didn't believe me, but Jenn confirmed it for him. He made a couple jokes, kept bringing up his own crush on this girl we knew, but he was fine with it. And once the crush was out in the open, it died off.
Or so I thought.
The summer of that year was great. Ryan and I got to be really good friends. Jenn and I managed to work together at a local movie theatre without getting on each other's nerves too badly. My crush on Ryan was over, and I mooned over this guy or that guy. Ryan was still after that same girl, although very half-heartedly. Jenn, well, Jenn wasn't really after anyone. We were all happy though.
In retrospect, it's hard to say how accurate I'm being. I might just be saying that's the way things were because it makes what happens next all the more traumatic. Know right now that I'm a dramatist at heart. Nothing I do or say or think is ever simple. It's always extremes, life-or-death kind of situations.
I suppose I should be honest, as honest as I possibly can. I'll say this once. This story is all me. My perspective. How I remember it. Talk to Ryan or Jenn and you'll get a different story, but since I'm the first one to sit down and tell the whole thing, in gory detail, from its painful beginning to its even more painful end, my version is the one that really matters.
Never forget for one second that I'm in control of this telling, just like it was the whole time all this happened. It may seem like I'm floating along, driftwood on the tide, but everything happened the way I wanted it to. Oops. Let me clarify. It starts off bad, I start off weak, but never forget that once I took charge of my life, and everyone else's lives, I didn't let go, not for a second. Unless it served my purposes to do so, and even then, it was never for long.
It's all about power. Sure, I'll get caught up in my own narrative. I'll lose myself to my emotions, and I'll say it's about love or betrayal or friendship. Har. While I'm still rational and impartial, I can spell it out. It's all about power. Power over emotion. Over people. Over life. But power.
Enough diatribe. Let me set the opening scene for you. It's Friday, November 18, 1994, not that the dates ever mattered to anyone save the three of us. Ryan and I are in the process of getting drunk. Brief digression. You may wonder how I got alcohol, being only 17. My parents got it for me. They aren't total jerks. So Ryan and I are getting drunk. Jenn will be over soon. Her birthday is the next day, and we're celebrating. She is at her brother's band concert. Oh, it's important to know that Jenn went to a different high school than Ryan and I.
Okay, stop the digressions Kev. Just get to the story. That's what the people want to hear.
Fine. Here goes.