Apparently, people liked the old-style columns, like the ones I ran in Times.10: self-indulgent, almost maniacally egotistical, bitchy, but amusing. So for old times sake, I figured why not, and so here we are with a series of little life lessons from one professional homosexual to another. It's preachy and only slightly hypocrital, but apparently that's what people occasionally want to read - I just hope it's amusing enough to be interesting while still carrying a few kernels of truth and food for thought. Without being TOO rife with cliché. (Besides, Mike asked for a short one, and this is the easier way to keep it short).
1. Just because you did someone at the bathhouse a few times doesn't mean they'll want to do you outside. Heck, it doesn't even obligate them to speak to you outside of the baths, no matter how frequent or incredible the sex may have been. The bathhouse is a world on its own, and relationships don't necessarily last once you trade that towel for streetwear. Of course, like anywhere else, it's just about being upfront and honest about what you're looking for. Lesson learned.
2. You can spend a lot of time getting to know someone you work with but no matter how cute they are, dating them isn't a good idea, assuming your company even allows it. Being around someone day in and day out is a great way to end up developing feelings but workplace romances are fraught with all sorts of peril, and god knows homo relationships can be dangerous enough without making it even more complicated. Lesson learned.
3. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Lesson learned.
4. As you go through life, new jobs, houses, boyfriends, etc, can cause your circle of friends to change. If it's important for you to stay in touch and stay close with the people you were friends with before, you might just have to exert the extra effort to find a way for your old life and your new life to come together. People come and go; its up to you to change that. Lesson learned.
5. Making out when drunk does not constitute a lasting relationship. Lesson learned.
6. Life can get busy and complicated and it's important not to overextend yourself. When you've made a commitment, whether its employment, volunteer, social, whatever, its important to meet that promise, and if you make too many, that can be hard. Always be sure you can do it properly; otherwise don't say you will. People end up having more respect for someone who's honest about not being able to follow through at the beginning than for someone who says they'll do something and then just don't. Lesson learned.
7. Likewise, grandiose statements of intent when intoxicated are never wise and they have a way of biting you in the ass when the hangover clears. Don't mix business and liquor, especially if your business IS liquor. Lesson learned.
8. Writing "lesson learned" at the end of a sentence or two doesn't mean you've actually learned a lesson…. But it's a good start.
Comments? Feedback? All my articles are meant to provoke thoughts and discussion. Send me your opinions, ideas, arguments. We will revisit this topic as the need arises.
