Pride or Shame
Has Pride become too sexual? Is our Pride parade actually working to our detriment now, portraying our dynamic diverse community as nothing more than sex-crazed partiers? Does it need to be more family friendly? Or is it just fine the way it is? Has it already been censored too much?
There has been ongoing debates on several Facebook threads about the level of family friendliness and the corresponding level of sex and sexuality that goes with a pride parade. First, I see both sides, and am proud that I can call friends who can argue so intelligently about their points. Second, Pride is not just the one day and over the course of the 10-day festival, there are several events CENTERED around being family-friendly. Third, there IS a time and place to dress like a giant dildo and it's called College.
No, but really.
On one hand, you have the people arguing for a more conservative parade. Personally, I think that this would be boring as hell. A parade of well-groomed, well-dressed gay men and women might be reflective of a good chunk of our community, but is an army of suits, marching down 102 Avenue like some white-collar apocalypse really what anyone wants to see? I polled my Facebook, and what follows are some of the comments I received on this side of the parade-morality spectrum:
1. "For the adopt a child float there was a young teen (if that) wearing only superman underwear posing provactively throughout the route. I could care less about people in their ginchies walking down the street, but his age and the nature of the float were HIGHLY innapropriate. He was a minor and I was not ok with it."
2.
"There is so much more to being gay than glitter and feathers and leather and lace. There's a serious side that unfortunately, the pride celebration does not depict. True it's a celebration of our victories and our struggles. But I will always believe that pride cannot exist without acknowledging all sides. Where we are, where we've been and where we wish to be in the future. I've also always felt that the pride celebration Revolves too much around sex and not enough around sexual identity. There is a difference. True, one cannot exist without the other. However, it is my opinion, that blatant sex has become the real star of our events."
3. "Who did the news media choose to represent us... the three nelliest twinks, in next to nothing sailor suits, camping up a major storm; I think this is how a lot of misunderstanding and sterotyping occurs due to this inaccurate visual of our community"
4. "My only problem with the parade was one of the girls running around with a strap on penis and doing sexual gestures with it. what's more she did it in front of the kids, including my granddaughter who is 6. i did not think that was appropriate as there were so many kids there. I think there is a time and place for that as well, not in front of children. [My nephew] Ashley taught me that being gay is more than just sex and that is what we are teaching my granddaughter. Ii think the young lady showed a bit of bad judgement."
Some good arguments right? Sounds mostly like a few bad apples spoiling it for everyone though. Floats need to control their participants; if they fail to do so, the Pride committee needs to control its participants (the floats). It goes without sayng, of course, that anything flagrantly illegal needs to be dealt with by the proper authorities.
What kind of comments did I get from the other side though? Here's just a few:
1. "There is more trashiness, skin, and sex showing on the street with the straight people, than there will ever be in a pride parade."
2. "The parade is a celebration of sexuality, I think no matter what your orientation, you can go and celebrate. I don't think that's bad or dirty. I don't think the message is to go out and have sex but to embrace being yourself"
3. "I took in the Cariwest parade last yr and realized there was much more sexualtiy and gyrating etc in that parade, and as a Gay man, kinda felt it was "In your face" Maybe not my thing, so I do understand how some people make thier own judgements on it, but in the same respect, rather than stereotype it all based on what the media portrays, I say come on down next year folks, see the whole thing, and I am pretty sure you will not walk away from the parade thinking anything other than "Wow, we have come a long way from the days of people wearing paper bags on their heads."
4. "Pride is a BIG part of Gay culture and our families are queer. Leathermen and women, Bears, Dykes, Queens, and yes pets in rainbows are all part of our culture! I think the critisims really address the need or desire to make gay, lesbian and queer people less queer, less outragous - to hell with that! Pride is about celebrating difference and if people feel left-out or aliegnated then actually they belong! Pride is about diversity and that means celebrating all of our differences."
Indeed we have come a long way, and that is something we need to truly be proud of. Even the fact that we can have this conversation shows how far we have come. Still a ways to go? Oh yes. Have we gone too far? I don't think so. Are we making a difference? Yes, and how do I know that? Look at one Pride participant said: "when my mom saw the pictures that made it to Facebook she said "You look... so happy!" and gave me a hug. It was something I never really expected coming from her, and it put the biggest smile on my face."
Making an ACTUAL difference in how are family and friends see us? Makes me proud.
Comments? Feedback? All my articles are meant to provoke thoughts and discussion. Send me your opinions, ideas, arguments. We will revisit this topic as the need arises.