QUEER: THE PEOPLE
I was sitting on my back deck the other night with a glass of sacramental wine and some gorgeous friends. We began to discuss the idea of “queer culture” and this idea of a ‘queer people’. This thought sparked a wildfire of discussion.
First was the disconnect with the word ‘queer’ some people felt. Young generations embrace the word as a powerful blow to those who held it as a wounding instrument to older generations. People said they didn’t like the word because of it’s derogatory connotations.
I like the word ‘queer’. It’s a unifying word. It gives a name to a people. It holds power because of it raises eyebrows.
While exploring Judaism I remember a Rabbi telling me to be Jew means to be a people and not a religion - the religion of Jews is Judaism. A people as a distinct cultural group, however, has elements that make it a culture: a language, a religion, music, a lifestyle, way of being. So I take my thoughts that to be a queer people we have to examine what it means to be a cultural people.
We have a language. Ever notice how when a group of queer people get together the double-entendres begin to flourish in the conversation? Or how we have a lingo for our sub groups like twink, bear, diesel dyke, lipstick, or femme. We even have terms for behaviors like a ‘gay poodle’ or a ‘plaza queen’. What about “the gay lisp”?
Though deeply rejected by Christianity, a new form of spirituality has arisen from our exiles. In many ways we are an amalgam of all the traditions that closed their doors to us. As such it’s typical to find us fitting into ‘spiritual’ categories: yoga, meditation, and even some studies indicate queers gravitate to that which is new age. Look at even how we love: “What does a lesbian bring on a second date? A UHaul!” We love with reckless abandon because we’re in deep conversation with our hearts. We have a deep sense of intuition: GAYDAR! That mystical ability to spot ‘family’ from across the room with just ‘a knowing’!
We have a distinct make-up of family. We have a emotional and spiritual families that we have chosen as a result of being expelled from our own.
We have music. Madonna. Cher. Club music. Genres that have specific and identifiable correlations to gay culture and icons. I’ve even had DJ’s reject my requests saying “this isn’t that kind of bar’ (inferring that it wasn’t a gay bar - so I had to take “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” somewhere else).
What is remarkable about our culture is that we transcend race, religion, gender and culture! We are men and women and both! We are black and white! We are Jews, Christians, Muslims, and other esoteric ways of expressing our spiritual sides. We're freaky and open people that cause people to stop and reexamine themselves!
We are powerful! We are Queer!
As such we need to work together. We need to defend each other and not play out childish infighting. We need to celebrate OUR people together not be caddy about how one group is superior to the other. We need to walk in solidarity and revel in the joy that is our culture!
My friend tells me that whenever he sees someone who shares his aboriginal heritage, a perfect stranger, he feels an immediate kinship! Imagine if when we saw each other at Pride we could be excited to see each other and stand arm in arm. I wish I could recapture the feeling of when I was 18 and had come from a small Northern Ontario community for Toronto Pride. I felt like I had found my people - like Gonzo searching for his space family.
We are family! I got all my sisters and me!
Love,Sister Sissy Fister
Irreverent Mother of the Abbey of the Festival City Sisters