Dear Tequila,
I've been seeing this girl off and on for almost 2 years. We have so much fun together and we have awesome sexual chemistry but she just can't be faithful to me. The longest she's ever been faithful to me is three months. At first, she kept going back and forth between me and her ex-girlfriend. But now I've learned that she's sleeping with girls from the internet or hooking up in bars. I have broken up with her multiple times. She says she misses me and that she'll change but as soon as I take her back she starts cheating again. I can't trust her. But I also can't leave her. We love each other but she keeps breaking my heart.
-Debbie does everyone
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Dear Debbie,
First of all, I'm Going to assume that neither of you are named 'Debbie' and that your signature is simply a play on the 80's porn classic 'Debbie does Dallas' since I'm sure you're smart enough to know that these letters are intended to be anonymous and that I would never knowingly print someone's real name.
That being said, I'd first like to extend my sympathy to your heartache and then I'd like to smack you hard in the face with an honesty shovel. Brace yourself, this is going to hurt.
SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU.
It stings doesn't it? The truth often does but love shouldn't. Love should feel good! If it doesn't than it isn't. It's really that 
simple.
Now, before you scrunch up your face in a horrifying display of disgust and disbelief, I want you to remember two things; first, no one looks good like that, so don't do it. And second, actions speak louder than words. I know it Sounds cliché but it's a cliché because it's true. Her actions are speaking volumes, if only you would poke your head out of the clouds long enough to listen. I'll say it again in case you missed it the first time.
SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU
Maybe if I say it often enough it will have a better chance of sinking in. If a person is cheating on you every three months (that you know of, I might add) it's usually a pretty clear indication that they aren't afraid of losing you. Whether people admit it or not, everyone harbors a secret fear of losing the things that they value. From anything as simple as a cell phone to your spouse, that itty bitty sting of fear is what keeps us on the gay and narrow. It reminds us to lock our car doors, to leave our diamonds in the hotel safe and to keep our dicks, or clit in her case, securely in our pants if it's not our significant others were showing them to. If there is no fear of losing it then there is no value placed upon it. How can one love something they don't value?
SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU.
In fact, I doubt she even likes you. Not because you're unlikable. Not because she's a horrible person. She doesn't like you because she doesn't have the ability to do so. She may not know how. Think about the people in your life, the people you care about, the people you consider your true friends, people you are not romantically involved with, how do you treat them? I'm sure there is a basic level of kindness, respect and loyalty, three key ingredients to ALL relationships, romantic or otherwise. You extend these three things to the friends in your life because you like them and want them to like you in return. Sure, friends fight or argue from time to time and usually overcome it. However, I'm sure you can acknowledge that there are certain betrayals of trust that have caused you to end friendships in the past. Don't lie. We've all had to do it at one time or another. If you've never had the unfortunate experience of unfriending someone then you're probably a loser and have never had a friend to begin with. Just kidding....sort of.
Now, let's look at your lover's behavior towards you. Is she showing you a level of kindness, respect and loyalty that you extend to and expect from your friends? The people you only LIKE???? Love is like on fire. Intense and amplified. Which means you should be showing each other greater levels of kindness, a deeper respect and an unwavering loyalty. Love should never be one sided.
SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU.
She can't even claim she wants you. If she did in fact want you, she wouldn't be hooking up with random girls online or in bars indiscriminately. This act in itself implies that you're nothing special to her. You're a body, one of many it seems, which can be used and discarded at whim. If she did actually want YOU, the beautiful, unique and deserving you that you are - she wouldn't be on an endless pursuit of other women. The truth of the matter is that she doesn't really want anyone. She doesn't want anything but pleasure. Simple, noncommittal, string-free, instant gratification from as many women that she can convince to give it to her, pleasure.
SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU
Then why, you must wonder, does she keep coming back to you? Because you continue to offer the one thing that casual sex never could. Stability, normalcy, reliability and comfort. You've clearly given her the impression that no matter what she does or how often she does it, you're not going anywhere. You will always be there, willing and waiting. She can take comfort in the knowledge that on those cold and lonely nights when she leaves the bar alone or her internet dates are in low supply, she can go home to you and to your waiting vagina.....gross...I nearly gagged on that one.
You say you've broken up with her multiple times. I'll bet the reactions you've received have been all too indifferent. I would wager that she responds with a simple, "ok baby. See ya." or some variation thereof. She responds this way because there is no emotional attachment. You are a physical convenience that she could take or leave, because in that moment, she believes she can replace you with another naive girl. In fact, I would be surprised if you weren't the sweet naive girl who replaced her 'ex girlfriend' when she too stopped taking her back.
SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU
Then why does she come back to you after a few weeks or months declaring how much she missed you? Well, sweetie, it's probably the same reasons she kept going back to her 'ex girlfriend' in the beginning. First, to see if she can. Then, because she discovers that there aren't as many girls willing to put up with her behavior long term. So, she resorts to those who she knows are foolish enough to tolerate it. I bet if you ever had the courage to talk to her 'ex girlfriend' directly, you would discover that you have more in common than just bedfellows.
SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU
Its time to accept that you are the new 'ex girlfriend'. It's only a matter of time before another poor girl will fall victim to her games and replaces you entirely. Just like you replaced the 'ex girlfriend' that came before you. The cycle will continue. Round and round like carousal. Only you can decide when it's time for you to get off.
By the way...it's time.
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