On the inclusion of “Orientation” in
Individual Rights Protection Act
by: Murray G. Billett
March 2/94
This story is entitled " Now how do you feel?" It is journey of mind. Walk with me if you will through a world that is contrary to the world as you know it. As you take this journey, you will realize it is a world in which many live and you are one of them.
You must suspend any judgments or questions about how and why things are the way they are.
Imagine your feelings if your primary caregivers were either two lesbian women or two gay men. Pick one or the other as your parents. Now get in touch with your feelings
The province is Atrebla, the country is Adanac. You are the child of this gay couple and they love you very much and are proud of you. You love them too and want them to be proud. These men or women nursed you when you were sick and walked you to your first day of school taught you to read, bought you your first bicycle
What would that be like?
You grow up seeing the rights and privileges that your gay parents have as citizens of Atrebla as they are recognized by provincial and federal human rights legislation.
Now what would it feel like if these gay people had other children to children who identified themselves as gay? Your older brother has a boy friend with whom he holds hands. You have seen your older sister kiss her same sex date.
What would that feel like?
What does it feel like if all others think you are gay too? Not only do they think you are gay, they expect you to be gay.
Now how do you feel and who do you tell how you feel?
You are now at your first day of High School. You read newspapers and watched TV. You see how “your type” is treated in the news and by the media, remember no legislation here in Atrebla.
Your fourteen, first day of high school, remember that day?
You are sitting next to your best friend who is gay and the bus is driven by a gay person A gay song is playing on the radio. You know the words and you and many others are singing along
Without figuring out how and why it would work how would it feel if every song you ever heard was written by a gay person What if every book, movie and billboard you passed featured the beauty and joy of gay love.
How would that make you feel?
Now not everyone in Atrebla is a happy healthy homosexual. There are some of “those types” who are thought to be sexually obsessed with people of the opposite sex. The very thought makes many people shudder.
The politically correct name for these types is “heterosexuals” Most folks refer to them as breeders.
One day a bunch of breeders try to get the government of Atrebla to pass legislation to give them the same rights breeders have in other parts of Adanac. They are losing jobs and getting kicked out of apartments because they are “breeders” but the pink neck folks of Atrebla don’t take kindly to those types.
There are even religious folks passing out bumper stickers saying “ Boot a breeder for Christ ”
School rumour had it, that Kelly was a breeder. Kelly was only fifteen, a gregarious type, good marks, a very handsome lad with all the stereo typical breeder behavior’s. Both his Dad’s are well respected in the community. The teasing continues, Kelly's a “hetro"!! Kids would holler at him, others would ignore him completely. Some kids wrote on the washroom walls. “Breeder Kelly”. The young man is pushed to the limit.
With no place to go, no one to turn to and no recognition in the legislation and no hope, his fathers find him hanging from the basement rafters. Most folks think such a pity the pressures of being a teenager are just too much.
I ran outside and vomited when I hear the news. I knew Kelly, I realized the awful reality of his death just because he happened to be one of “those types”.
How do you feel now ?
You go to the library to find a book on breeders, however the librarian is gay and you must sign the book out. Suddenly the thought races through your mind “hey guess who checked out the breeder book? “ Not a chance, you drop the book and head out the door.
You bury your feelings
How do you feel ?
Life goes on, you must continue, you want your parents to be proud. The pressure builds, you know what is expected of you.
You bury your breeder feelings.
Graduation, a time for celebration, a time to be with a same sex partner. You don’t have one and deep down inside you really don’t desire a same sex partner. You’re a breeder and you know it but you just can’t come out to anyone. So your same sex friend invites you to the school prom and the dance is slow, they pull you close and nuzzle into your neck.
How do you feel?
Finally, it’s off to the University of Atrebla hoping things will be different or will they? You realize, yes, maybe there is a place for me. There is a breeder’s club on campus but the posters keep getting ripped down. There is one guy that is out, he gets a very rough time hardly anyone will even sit with him at lunch. Some people cuss and move further away from him in the cafeteria .
So you continue to keep your mask on. Dating is now expected, so you push yourself to date a same sex partner. You are now expected to wet kiss, and enjoy gay sex. You long for a partner of the opposite sex.
Who can you tell? No legislation to protect you STAY in the closet!!
How do you feel?
You go the corner book store where it is rumored there are “breeder newspapers”. The purchase is quickly stuffed between two more socially acceptable magazines. Some someone notices the paper you’ve picked up and looks and laughs at you. You rush home to read it quickly then ditch it in the trash. If your roommate finds it, you are out on your ass. The denial continues, you go to gay bars and gay dances with gay people living the lie, pretending to be gay your self.
How do you feel?
Finally, a discovery a place in town that caters to “your type’ a breeder bar. A place for heterosexual people to meet. The thought was frightening as you had never really met another breeder before. The police were known to raid and hassle the patrons from time to time.
How ever as other provinces have chosen to protect breeders in their legislation, police in Atrebla have backed off in recent years.
Enough nerve is built, you walk in and grab a beer and start nervously peeling the label. A person of the opposite sex smiles at you. Finally another heterosexual person who understands what I’m dealing with, out in the gay world. You gaze into each others’ eyes a wonderful friendship begins.
How do you feel ?
The next day at college everyone is asking Why are you in such a good mood? You don't dare tell them. You continue to date your new breeder friend, but you refuse tell anyone, especially your gay family.
Your new found love feels so right, the two of you decide to move in together. You really can’t afford a two bedroom apartment but you put out the extra bucks anyway. A one bedroom would be sicko. If the gay landlord found out, the result is obvious, EVICTION !
Atrebla has no legislation, you have no rights
How do feel?
The career now starts, folks on the job are asking Single eh? Families are wondering why you have not settled down with a same sex partner. No one knows that your breeder friend is in fact your lover, your mate. You certainly can't tell anyone, the risks are too great. Your gay co-workers and your gay boss would never approve. Most customers would be in an uproar and you would be fired immediately.
No legislation in Atrebla, you have no rights !
How do you feel?
It’s a stormy snowy day when the police call you at work. What is it? Seems your roommate was in a terrible car crash. Your blood runs cold. Now what. Is your lover going to make it ? Neither of your families know about the two of you. Tears start to fall, your gay co-worker turns to you, What do you say? Waiting till after work, you rush to the hospital you see your lover behind plate glass, attached to tubes and IV lines. Your emotions are close to out of control. Your first impulse is to rush in take his or her hand and kiss it gently and say "I’m sorry" "Hang in there"
I love you so very much."
The tears stream down your cheeks, as you try desperately to see through to the swollen eyes of the one you love so dearly. Gay doctors, gay nurses and gay attendants all assume they are working on a gay patient.
What would they say if they knew your lover was a heterosexual? Would they treat your lover any differently? Should you do or say anything that would reveal the secret?
Do you go into the intensive care unit or do you wait outside? Can you call your Gay boss or gay co worker and come out to them at the same time? Do you dare take a day off what’s your excuse? Is there anyone to come and hold your hand and help you try to understand why things have to be this way?
Stop -- Think -- Imagine, if this was your life !
Really get in touch with your feelings
Now consider, who do you tell how you feel?
What are the repercussions if you do tell.
How do you feel?
I believe this story illustrates many of the points that you have heard here in the last couple of days.
Respect and dignity are not too much to ask for. It is not special rights that we seek, it is truly, only equal rights. Love knows no boundaries and family is matter of the heart.
I trust you now have a better understanding of the issues that thousands of Albertans and their families deal with on a constant basis. The daily occurrences that straight people take for granted can be dramatically altered if orientation comes into question.
Tolerance does not equal acceptance, understand it and deal with it.
Famous Words of Sussex Lord Justice Hewart in 1924
It is not mererly of some importance but of fundamental importance that justice should not only be done, but be manifestly and undoubtedly seen to be done. Nothing is to be done which creates even a suspicision that there has been an improper interference with the course of justice
This is 1994, the generational facts that exist tell me that inclusion would validate many of the current firmly entrenched family values in the Gay & Lesbian Community. When my partner and I are on vacation with my sons and our Friends join us with their four children, no one can tell me that this is not a family gathering. Not theoretical perhaps not traditonal but Cleary a Family.
The daily systemic discrimination that gay & lesbian men & women, thier children and their families face daily must end. Inclusion is an important first step.
Do not be fooled by Sanctimonious Lectures from religious zealots fighting from behind the pulpits preaching oppression, hate, bigotry, ruination of Moral Fabric and traditional family values
This is not about God, the bible or church vs the state.
This is about do unto others as you have them do unto you
This is not about lobbying in the courts of public opinion.
This is about what has other jurisdictions have done.
This is not about special rights or a generational crisis
This is about equal rights as recognized by 7 other provinces 1 territory and the canadian military.
This is about the learned behavior called Discrimination.
Discriminiation based on orientation has been found to be prohibited in the constitution of this country. The federal Justic minister Allan Rock
I encourage you to include orientation in IRPA
I encourage you to Please include “orientation” in the Individual Rights Protection Act.
It would change so many lives in so many ways.
I believe that Legislation doesn't always change the heart Hopefully it will stop the heartless.
All of which is respectfully submitted by
Murray G. Billett